How Not to Quit YouTube

Last year I wrote about content creator burn-out, which was a deeply introspective piece about my own journey with making videos for my YouTube channel. And in what is perhaps an interesting coincidence, over the past several months some very high profile channels have announced their closure. Perhaps my thoughts were just echoing an overarching cultural malaise that myself and millions of others were simultaneously experiencing. Or maybe my hobbyist experience has nothing in common with the experience of those living the life of a career YouTuber pressed under the weight of turning videos into food on the table.

But my expression on the topic tapered off into a somewhat dour, depressed tone. That's no longer how I feel now.

Content creation, and I'll grant you, any time-consuming hobby is a complex topic with many highs and lows. Sometimes we lose interest, and sometimes that interest is rekindled. Sometimes not. And while many have commented on the (sort of) trend of quitting YouTube and have offered advice, I thought I might throw my pennies at the the topic, and if I may be so bold, provide what I think is a pretty good list for how to find that spark again.

So much of finding joy in something you once had and lost is as much about yourself as a person than anything to do with the hobby. I find that the last few years have been me trying to put myself back together into the person I once knew. And I'm not the only one disfigured by the events of recent years. It's not hard to understand why so many of us have psychologically fallen to pieces after so much turmoil and anguish has taken place in the world. It's a small wonder we're still standing.

And in many ways, the young man that first pointed a camera at himself and started a channel was at some point unmade. I lost the plot, and my post about burn-out really lays out why that is. In summary, I became too focused on the numbers, on what I thought my channel should be, and on pushing myself to do better and better.

Recently though, I found a new reason for making videos. I made a video for #DOScember, and it wasn't motivated by anything except my excitement for the thing I wanted to show to people. I got an old computer, made it work, fixed it up, modified it, and made it my own. I found so many things to do with it, and I was learning new things every step of the way. I spent days, weeks, and months thinking about it constantly, working on it every free moment I got. I did everything not because it would make a good video, but because I wanted to do it.

Crucially, this wasn't the retreading of the same old subject matter that I had been accustomed to, and often bored of. This was new. Over the course of my discovery, I was immersed and engaged in it in a way I hadn't been with retro computers in years. I was having fun!

The video was a secondary thought. I would very occasionally pull out the camera to record a quick clip of something, just in case I ever decided to make a video with it. As the scope of the modding project grew, the video ideas organically grew with it. I soon had the whole thing pictured in my head. Whether anyone would watch it didn't matter, what mattered was I thought it was cool, and I wanted to share my enthusiasm with others.

The video also represented a major departure for my channel. Not because I don't normally delve into DOS era hardware, but in terms of how it was made. A "mainline" video where a significant portion of it was unscripted. A revamped channel intro. A shift in style where headshots of myself were entirely omitted. The whole video was just my hands and the thing I was talking about. It was relatively painless, simple enough to make, and the result was still respectable. The feeling I would describe as a result of these production changes would be "excitement".

I call it PixelPipes Season 2.

Video production is now back in full swing. I have another one well underway, and a third that is one of my most desired videos to make since nearly the beginning of my channel. The channel is reborn, and so is my passion.

So let's break down into parts what I think makes reviving a channel possible. How could you, if you were someone in a similar predicament, find that passion again? How do you reassemble that part of you that was unmade?

Breaking Free of Your Own Box

One of the traps that I think is the easiest to fall into is the feeling that you can't change anything. This is what you're known for, this is what people expect of you, and this is all you're good at. You're stuck in one spot, and that's it.

But think back to that creator you once knew that started making videos in the first place. Did your old self have any expectations? Were they good at anything in particular? Chances are you didn't know what you were doing. Chances are you didn't have any confidence in it. But you didn't care enough about that not to try. It was more fun to give it a shot, and see what happens.

The truth is, it's never too late to reinvent yourself. What's at stake is more important. Rather than holding yourself in a creative box, re-trudging the same routine, burning out and losing interest, why not find a new way forward? Think about what you like and don't like about your work. Reflect on the parts that weigh you down the most, and the things you dread doing. Carry over those aspects that still work for you, rethink the parts that don't, and reshape what it means to create a video for your channel.

Yeah, your fans might not like it. Or they might love it. But the goal here is for you to love it. And if you can find that passion again, chances are that that enthusiasm will win people over. Burn-out is seldom invisible. It affects the quality of your work in ways conscious and unconscious. It can destroy not just your desire to make videos, but your interest in the things you make videos on. It can literally kill the hobby.

Quitting is one way of resolving that. Breaking free of your own box and finding a new way to experience that joy again is another, better way.

'What' You Make Your Video About is More Important Than 'Why'

I had a huuuge list of video ideas. It stretched for pages. It loomed over me. Any idea I ever thought of for what might make a good video, I put it down. The thinking was often that I should make a video on this or that topic. I should cover everything that falls under the subject matter. As it turns out that line of thinking was sucking out all my energy.

I quickly realized that at the rate I was making videos, it would take an entire lifetime to finish this list, even if I never added anything else. At the rate I was losing interest, I would never finish (even half) the list. But some videos always stood out more than others.

As I looked down the list again, occasionally a video idea would jump out and cause a spark of excitement. A lot of them I had forgotten about, but upon seeing them again, my mind flashed with the possibilities, and what drew me to them in the first place. These were clearly priority videos. I figured if I was ever going to quit my channel, I had to at least make these. Then, even if nothing else interested me again, I could end it there still feeling satisfied that I had done what I really wanted to do.

It was a realization that "what" the video was about was the most important thing. And more specifically, what that topic meant to me, personally. Not some ideation of what a channel like mine should make. I was putting myself and my channel on some sort of pedestal, like I had a weird responsibility to someone or something.

The video itself should be the driving force. Not the views. Not any sort of strategy or long-term plan. What do I want to make right now? What am I itching the most to sit down and do? Do that first. Go ahead. Eat your desert, skip the veggies. Do what feels good to you. Be self-indulgent. It matters more that you enjoy making it, and chances are, that joy might make a better video. It might connect more with people if they see your passion. More importantly, it will keep you going.

Let Go of the Feature Creep

During the 2020 pandemic, I had a lot of free time. My job was in a limbo state, and I like millions of others was stuck at home, desperate for something to do that would distract me from the worries outside. My channel had been in a hiatus, but I had a video or two that had already been started, and left unfinished. I decided now was the time to finish them.

I wasn't sure that I would do anything else. I knew that if I completed at least one of the projects I had been working on, that I would feel better. Like I had accomplished something, and resolved a loose thread. So for a couple weeks, I dedicated myself to it. I put in the hard work, went the extra mile, did everything the best I could, and even a step further.

The result was a video that was better than anything I had made before. With all that extra time, I was able to polish it up, do better transitions, more B-roll, more intensive editing... I was very proud of it, and what's more, it did insanely well. Turns out other people had a lot of free time too, and they were spending it watching videos like mine.

It was kind of a drug. I immediately threw myself into another video, this time starting from scratch. While maybe not as grand on scope, it was again more and better in various aspects than my older videos. I did a couple more like that. Even when work started back up for just a few days a week, I still had extra time, and still made videos to the highest quality I could make.

I had set a new standard. As it turns out, this was a double-edged sword. As work ramped up and I was back to full time, the free time was limited. To make a video on that same level while still working and carrying on my regular life activities was suddenly a daunting prospect.

This caused another burn-out, and another hiatus. Making videos now felt overwhelming. I didn't want to lower the quality because I had been so proud of what I had made, and had gotten a lot of attention for it. But it was unsustainable.

To get myself out of the rut, I started #GPUJune the following year. I hoped that would reinvigorate me to make videos again of that same quality. It would of course take more energy, time, and effort now, but if I raised the 'stakes' so to say, maybe I could get motivated. My effort for that event did manage to achieve yet another high bar for my channel. I didn't get quite as much attention for it, but I was extremely proud of the result. A new standard was set once again.

To be fair I already knew that video would be a bit of a one-off. I wouldn't be able to do that for every video going forward, but for more serious topics, that might be a different story. Instead of curing the burn-out, I had only spun my wheels faster. Several months went by, and I only produced one other scripted video that year. In 2022, I only made one scripted video.

During the long months when I wasn't producing anything, any time I thought about my channel or making a video, I felt dread. Even just contemplating the next video made me feel tired. But there was one video I had made back in 2020 that I kept returning to. It was a little video about 3D tech demos. It was an hour long, scripted video, but it was actually pretty quick to produce. Most of the effort was capturing video, but I barely filmed any other B-roll, and I never appeared on camera. The whole thing was done entirely in voiceover.

And for such an easy to produce video, the result was really good, I thought. It touched on an interesting topic, it achieved the feeling and message that I was going for, it came together quickly. And I was still proud of it. Imagine that!

Last year when thinking about what the next phase of PixelPipes was going to be, I decided that needed to be the new standard. Videos that aren't daunting to make, but can still be good. I decided I didn't need so much B-roll. I decided not every video needs to have me on camera. I decided the editing doesn't always need to be super elaborate and time consuming. And heck, not every part of the video even needs to be scripted.

The first two videos for PixelPipes Season 2 were a review of the SiS 315, and the one for #DOScember about the Compaq Portable III that I mentioned at the beginning. The first one was still largely like my old videos, with A-roll featuring myself on camera, and a decent amount of B-roll and editing. But the editing is actually still simpler. And I even did a small portion of the video talking about the card's drivers without a script.

The Compaq Portable III video is even more experimental. It was supposed to be partially scripted, but I was already running behind (it actually released in January... oops), so I did the entire thing without a script. It's a little rougher in quality than I'm shooting for, and it took a lot of cutting to make it watchable, but the lack of polish helped make it doable in a relatively tight period of time while also doing lots of overtime at work.

Sustainability. That's the key. Scaling down my effort, while still making enjoyable videos, is also more enjoyable for me. It means videos are less daunting to produce, and frankly I have too many things I want to cover to spend that much time on each. But it also means I'm actually excited to make videos again! They don't each have to be some Herculean task, and people will still get their time's worth out of them.

It's OK to strive for better. But it's not OK to bury yourself under the weight of unsustainable expectations. Shoot for what's reasonable, not necessary what's the best.

Add them all together, and...

The recipe is pretty simple. Don't overdo it. Do what you actually want. Don't shackle yourself creatively. Put them all together and you might actually have a good time again. Remember, for most of us, this isn't a numbers game. It shouldn't be. This is a passion or hobby that, by the end of it, you still want to keep enjoying. If you get burned out, and try to push through it anyway, you might actually ruin it for yourself. And worse yet, you may never get that passion back. Life is too precious to be losing the parts of it that give us joy, so do what you can to protect that, and if you need to, find that joy again.